So I had the usual pap smear a few weeks ago and my gyno said if she saw anything concerning, she would let me know. According to my health history, I have to go every 6 months to keep an eye on my abnormal cells. I changed my number just before my Sacramento trip and forgot to let her know so I was constantly checking my email. When I got back, I let her office know my new number and to have her call me back. A week goes by and I don’t hear anything so I figured everything was fine. Then one day I’m checking my emails and I see two from her. And she’s telling me to call her asap about my test results. When I call her, she tells me that my test results for cervical cancer was concerning and it looks precancerous but she wants to do a biopsy soon just to make sure. After hearing this, my heart dropped. I cannot go through this again. Not right now. I already have enough stress. I just lost two loved ones in a month, bills, work, family issues, finding a place, divorce, friends…and now I gotta face the fact I may have to fight for my life again? I have been praying that God will give me the strength to persevere. It makes me wonder what God is preparing me for. I feel exhausted.